Conversation with My Children about Homosexuality

Friday afternoon, October 14, 2016

I received a call from Yeri, so I went to the school to pick up Yeri and Dillon. After dropping off Dillon’s friend near our house, I took Dillon and Yeri to get hamburgers since they were hungry. While waiting for our turn at the drive-thru, I brought up the topic of homosexuality and began a conversation with them. Since Yeri had recently written an article on homosexuality for her school newsletter, I thought it would be a good time to talk with both of them about it. As we talked about different things, I asked them: 'If one day you became parents and found out that your child was homosexual, and that child wanted to marry someone of the same sex, what would you do? Would you be able to attend the wedding and give your blessing?' Dillon, without the slightest hesitation, said he would attend and give his blessing. From what he said, I felt that Dillon believed we are all sinners, and that homosexuality is no different from the sins we all commit. Yeri also seemed to agree, saying that divorce is also a sin. She didn’t directly answer my question, but instead talked about love. So I told Yeri that while we should love homosexuals with the heart of Christ, that love must also be within the truth. Loving them does not mean agreeing with or accepting what they do. At that point, it was our turn, so we received our food and went home.

At home, while we each ate our meals, I asked Yeri to bring me the school newsletter since it contained her article. The title of her article was “I Am a Christian, but I Am Not Homophobic.” This semester, Yeri had joined the journalism class and started writing articles for the school newsletter. She had chosen to write about her thoughts on homosexuality, and her article had been selected for publication. I had already read her piece (though she said the editor had revised it somewhat), but I wanted to look over the entire newsletter to see what else was included. Perhaps because the following week was designated as “Ally Week” for supporting homosexual students, the newsletter contained several articles in support of homosexuality. In fact, Yeri’s article was printed with an illustration of a cross behind which the editor had drawn a rainbow.

Later, when I drove Yeri back to school, I talked with her more about her article. I asked if anyone at school had said anything to her after it was published. Yeri said that a girl she didn’t know very well came up to her and started talking. That girl told Yeri she was homosexual and, having read Yeri’s article, wanted to approach her. She asked Yeri, “Do you support homosexuality?” Yeri replied, “I don’t support homosexuality, but …” and explained her own thoughts. Likely, just as she had written in her article, Yeri told her that she did not hate homosexuals, that Christians should not persecute them, and that instead we should love them. I then shared with Yeri about a lesbian sister I had met in Korea, someone I had first come to know through my online ministry. I explained to Yeri that some homosexuals need to be accepted in the love of Christ, and that some know homosexuality is a sin and don’t want to live that way, yet still find themselves unable to stop loving someone of the same sex. I reminded Yeri again that while we should love and accept such people, we must not accept the homosexual acts themselves. We must hate our sins. I told her that we must pray for them, but not only for them — also for ourselves, that we too may repent of our sins and turn back to God. I explained this because Yeri had emphasized God’s love and forgiveness. I told her that yes, God’s love includes forgiveness, but that forgiveness is given when we repent of our sins and obey His Word. God’s love does not mean He forgives unrepentant sin simply because He loves us. So I reminded Yeri of Jesus’ words to the people who were about to stone the woman caught in adultery: “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7). But I also reminded her that Jesus told the woman, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (v.11). I emphasized to Yeri that we must accept sinners, but at the same time hate sin and turn away from it through repentance.

By then, we had arrived at school, so I could not continue the conversation further. I parked, watched Yeri get out and walk toward the school, and then came home. Sitting here now, I am writing down and organizing the conversation I had with my children about homosexuality.