Children Who Truly Make Their Parents Happy (2)

[Proverbs 23:24-35]

Last week, up until Wednesday's prayer meeting, we meditated on Proverbs 23:15-23 under the title, "Children Who Truly Make Their Parents Happy." The reason I chose that title was because of the message in verses 15-16:
"My son, if your heart is wise, my heart will be glad; if your lips speak what is right, my heart will rejoice." (Modern Translation: "My son, if you are wise, my heart will be glad; if you speak what is right, I will truly rejoice.")
In these verses, the author of Proverbs tells us that if our children's hearts are wise and their lips speak what is right (or speak righteous words), the hearts of parents will be filled with joy and delight. From this, we can understand that children who truly make their parents happy are those whose hearts are wise and whose words are truthful. In short, the children who bring joy to their parents are those who listen to the teachings of truth given by wise parents and live according to those teachings.

In today's passage, Proverbs 23:25, the Bible says something similar:
"Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice."
The Bible again commands us to "make your parents glad" and "let your mother rejoice." In summary, God’s command to us can be encapsulated in one phrase: “Make your parents happy.” So, how can we make our parents happy? I found the answer in verse 24:
"The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who has a wise child will delight in them."
To make our parents happy, we must become "wise children" and "righteous" ones. Furthermore, to make our Heavenly Father happy, we must live a righteous life, having been justified through faith in Jesus Christ, and live wisely according to the wisdom He provides.

But how do we live wisely and righteously as children of God? Verse 26 gives us the answer:
"My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes delight in my ways."
As those justified by faith in Jesus, we must give our hearts to God and, with our eyes, look to His ways and walk in them. When we give our hearts to God, we must focus on the paths He shows us and walk in them. But what are these paths? In this passage, the Bible specifically warns us not to look at or walk down two certain paths. What are these two paths?

First, the path we must avoid is the path of the adulterous woman.

Look at today’s main passage, Proverbs 23:27:
"For a prostitute is a deep pit, and a wayward wife is a narrow well."

As we have been meditating on Proverbs so far, the writer has repeatedly warned us and exhorted us about the adulterous woman. One such warning is found in Proverbs 2:16:
"Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words."

The writer of Proverbs tells us that wisdom protects and rescues us from such women. Here, these women are described as seducing with their words (v.16). Proverbs 5:3–4 says:
"For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword."

What a frightening temptation this is! It is a danger that can rob both you and me of our lives and our faith.

When I meditate on this passage, I’m reminded of Proverbs 7:6 and following. There, a foolish young man without wisdom walks down the street in the dead of night, heading toward the house of an adulterous woman. A crafty woman dressed like a prostitute grabs him, kisses him, and shamelessly says:

"I have made fellowship offerings; today I fulfilled my vows. So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon." (vv. 14–20)

This immoral woman seduces the young man with seductive words and flattering lips, and he immediately follows her. The Bible says:

"All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver..." (v.22)

How can we resist and overcome such temptations like Joseph did? Look at Proverbs 7:1–5:

"My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, 'You are my sister,' and to insight, 'You are my relative.' They will keep you from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words."

Only through God-given wisdom can we avoid falling for the seduction of the adulterous woman. Wisdom alone can guard, protect, and rescue us from them.

Furthermore, such women lack fidelity. Look at Proverbs 2:17:

"Who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God."

The adulterous woman has abandoned her husband, her partner in marriage, and violated the covenant made before God (Genesis 2:24). Simply put, she is unfaithful. She throws away her purity like a discarded rag and sleeps with various men.

Proverbs 2:18 says,

"Surely her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead."

What does this mean? If you or I follow such women, we will ultimately face destruction. Proverbs 2:19 warns:

"None who go to her return or attain the paths of life."

So how does wisdom protect and deliver us from such women? God’s wisdom prevents us from even joining the path that leads to them (v.12), thereby guarding and delivering us.

The adulterous woman wants to draw you and me away from the right path and lead us onto a crooked and evil one. Her temptations can look attractive to the flesh—pleasing to the eyes, desirable, and seemingly wise. But wisdom enables us to see with spiritual eyes, and as a result, we recognize that her path leads to destruction. Wisdom not only keeps us from walking on their path but also from even associating with them.

Proverbs 23:27 says:

"For a prostitute is a deep pit and a wayward wife is a narrow well."

What does this mean? Falling into her temptation is like falling into an inescapable deep pit or a narrow trap. Proverbs 22:14 already said,

"The mouth of an adulterous woman is a deep pit."

In other words, she has dug a deep trap, and as Proverbs 23:28 says,

"Like a bandit she lies in wait and multiplies the unfaithful among men."

She lurks like a robber, waiting to seduce a foolish and undiscerning young man (see 7:7). She does not just trap one person but causes many to become unfaithful—especially many married men—leading them to commit adultery, becoming unfaithful not just to their wives but also to God. Isn’t this what we see happening today?

Have you heard of the so-called "flower snakes" (Korean slang: women who lure men into relationships and then blackmail them for money)? How many such women use sexual temptation as bait to deceive and exploit men?

Proverbs 7:21 says:

"With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk."

But once he falls for her,

"An arrow pierces his liver..." (v.23),

Meaning, he loses his life. The Bible says her house is the path to Sheol (the realm of the dead) and leads to the chambers of death (v.27).

What should we do?
We must not look at the path of the adulteress, nor give our hearts to it, nor walk in it. To do this, we must pay attention to Proverbs 7:1–4:

“My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and to insight, ‘You are my relative.’”

We must keep and practice God’s Word (His commandments) and store it in our hearts. We must engrave God’s Word on the tablet of our hearts. In this way, we become wise Christians. What will be the result? Look at Proverbs 7:5:

“They will keep you from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words.”

Proverbs 7:24–25 also says:

“Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths.”
[Contemporary Translation: “My sons, listen to me and pay close attention to what I say. Do not give your heart to such a woman, and do not let yourself be led astray by her.”]

If we are to avoid even looking at the path of the adulteress, giving our hearts to it, or walking down it, then we must carefully heed and listen to the words of God the Father. We must listen to God’s Word and not reject it (Proverbs 5:7). Then we will not be deceived by that path. Look at Proverbs 5:8:

“Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house.”

Dr. Yoonsun Park said:

“Sexual temptation is alluring, and because of that, anyone can only overcome it by fleeing.”

One representative figure of this is Joseph in the book of Genesis. Joseph, who was well-built and handsome (Gen. 39:6), was seduced by Potiphar’s wife. Though she invited him to lie with her (v.7) and continued to tempt him day after day (v.10), Joseph, fearing God, not only refused to sleep with her, but also avoided being with her at all (v.10).

However, one day when only Joseph and Potiphar’s wife were in the house (v.11), she grabbed his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me.” Joseph left his cloak in her hand and fled (v.12). As a result, although he was falsely accused and imprisoned, he was able to resist her temptation.

However, many young Christians today cannot resist sexual temptation like Joseph did, and fall into sin against God, living in a kind of inner prison. They are bound by the chains of sexual sin and live as slaves to it.

If we were to name people in the Bible who fell into temptation unlike Joseph, we would mention David and also Samson. Samson not only took a Philistine woman as his wife after seeing her in Timnah (Judges 14), but also went to Gaza and slept with a prostitute there (16:1). He later loved a woman named Delilah from the Valley of Sorek (v.4) and was seduced by her. He was captured by the Philistines and eventually died with them.

What should we do?
We must stay away from things that sexually tempt us.
Trying to overcome sexual temptation while staying close to it is foolish.

I once heard a story about a pastor who ministered to prostitutes and eventually fell into sin. Later, I also heard directly from a female missionary I know who was involved in ministry to prostitutes on the mission field. I thought then — this must not be easy. It must be an incredible challenge.

The Apostle Paul said in 2 Timothy 2:22:

“Flee the evil desires of youth.”

He also said in 1 Corinthians 6:18:

“Flee from sexual immorality…”

We must flee from immorality and lust. We must not even go near the door of a prostitute’s house. We must keep far from the adulteress. We must draw close to God’s Word, but stay far from the words of a prostitute. By drawing close to God, we keep far from the adulteress.

Secondly, the path we must not look at, give our hearts to, or walk down —
is the path of those who are addicted to wine.

Look at today's main passage, Proverbs 23:30:

“Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine.”

As we have meditated on Proverbs up until now, the writer of Proverbs has repeatedly warned and exhorted us about alcohol. Among those teachings, we previously reflected on Proverbs 23:20–21, which taught us that “a child who truly brings joy to their parents” is one who does not associate “with those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat.”

The Bible teaches us not to associate with those who live lives of indulgence or debauchery.
Why does Scripture tell us not to associate with “those who drink too much wine”?

Proverbs 23:21 gives the reason:

“For drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”
[Contemporary Version: “Drunkards and gluttons become poor, and if you sleep too much you’ll end up in rags.”]

The Bible warns us not to associate with drunkards because drunkards will become poor.
Why do drunkards become poor?

Because drunkards live indulgent lives (Ephesians 5:18), waste their possessions (cf. Luke 15), and are lazy and prone to oversleeping (Proverbs 23:21).

Also, Proverbs 20:1 says:

“Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise.”

If we translate the Hebrew text more literally, it says:

“Wine makes one arrogant, and strong drink causes fighting…”

This teaches us two harmful effects that wine and strong drink have on us:

1. Wine and strong drink make us arrogant, and

2. They lead us to quarrel.

Do you think alcohol makes a person arrogant?
Have you ever seen someone drunk acting boastful and looking down on others?

When I think about this question, I am reminded of King Ahasuerus in Esther chapter 1. In the third year of his reign, he held a great banquet for all his officials and servants (Esther 1:3). The Bible records that for 180 days, King Ahasuerus displayed the vast wealth of his kingdom and the splendor and glory of his majesty (v. 4).

Ultimately, he used this banquet to boast about his glory before all his nobles, officials, military leaders, and princes of the provinces (v. 3). Then, he held another banquet for seven days in the courtyard of the palace (v. 5), and during that time, wine was served in golden goblets, and the supply was abundant (v. 7). Drinking was according to the law — no compulsion — and everyone was allowed to drink as much as they wished (v. 8).

But on the seventh day, when the king was in high spirits from wine, he ordered his seven eunuchs to bring Queen Vashti before him so he could display her beauty to the people and officials (vv. 10–11). But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command. The king became furious and burned with anger (v. 12), and as a result, he deposed her.

So, King Ahasuerus, in his drunkenness, tried to show off his beautiful wife, but when she disobeyed him, he became enraged and divorced her.

This shows how, when a person becomes drunk, their heart is taken over by Satan (Hosea 4:11). Not only do they boast in their pride and arrogance, but they also unleash their anger (cf. Isaiah 16:6). This is why quarrels and fights often happen at drinking tables (Proverbs 20:1).

So King Solomon says in Proverbs 22:10:

“Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.”

In fact, if you remove the arrogant person from a drinking party, the quarreling and fighting will stop.
In Proverbs 20:1, the harmful effect of wine and strong drink can be summarized in one phrase:
They lead us astray.

They lead us astray in the wrong direction, down the path of foolishness.
This includes expressing anger quickly (12:16), provoking quarrels (20:3), and treating sin lightly (14:9).

Ultimately, wine and strong drink expose our own foolishness.

Look also at Proverbs 23:29. The Bible says:

“Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes?”

Why should we not get drunk?
Because those who get drunk experience woe, sorrow, conflict, complaints, and injuries.
How miserable is that?

And not only that, but another reason we must not get drunk is that once a person starts to enjoy alcohol, it becomes very difficult to quit (vv. 31–35).

Dr. Yoonsun Park gives four reasons for this:

(1) The first reason we must not get drunk is because alcohol contains something like the venom of a serpent, and its appearance is seductive.
Look at Proverbs 23:31–32:

“Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end, it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper.”

This means that being drunk is as dangerous as being bitten by a venomous snake — in other words, the result of drunkenness is deadly. That is why the writer of Proverbs tells us not even to look at wine.

(2) The second reason we must not get drunk is because when a person is intoxicated, they harbor lustful thoughts and become delusional.
Look at Proverbs 23:33:

“Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mind will imagine confusing things.”

The phrase “strange sights” here refers to prostitutes.
What does this mean? That a drunk person starts to entertain impure, lustful desires.
Also, the phrase “confusing things” refers to drunken speech — foolish and meaningless words — indicating that a drunk person loses touch with reality.

(3) The third reason we must not get drunk is because a drunk person is unable to recognize danger.
Look at the first part of Proverbs 23:34–35:

“You will be like one sleeping on the high seas, lying on top of the rigging. ‘They hit me,’ you will say, ‘but I’m not hurt! They beat me, but I don’t feel it…’”

When someone is drunk, they are often unaware that they are in danger.
That is why drunk people may drive without realizing they are endangering their own lives — or the lives of others.

(4) The fourth reason we must not get drunk is because alcohol enslaves, and once bound by it, a person cannot easily quit.
Look at the second part of Proverbs 23:35:

“…When will I wake up so I can find another drink?”

Why does someone drink excessively, then after sobering up the next day, go looking for more alcohol?
Is it not because they are enslaved by it?

Let me conclude this meditation on God’s Word.
Friends, if we truly want to bring joy to our Father in heaven, we must live righteous lives as His children, and live wisely — with the wisdom that God gives.

In today’s passage, Proverbs 23:24–35, we learned what it means to live wisely as the righteous.
We must offer our hearts to God the Father, fix our eyes on the path of the Lord, and walk in it.

But as we seek to follow the Lord’s way, today’s Scripture tells us that there are two paths we should not even look at, not desire in our hearts, and certainly not walk down.
Those two paths are:

1. the path of the immoral woman, and

2. the path of the one enslaved to alcohol.

My hope and prayer is that all of us will turn our eyes away from these two paths and walk only on the path of the Lord, so that we may become true children of God who bring joy to our heavenly Father.