The Foolish Son

[Proverbs 19:10, 13-14, 18, 26-27]

Everyone, have you ever read the traditional Korean folktale titled "The Foolish Son of the Salt Merchant"? The story goes like this (from the internet):

A long time ago, there was a salt merchant living in a small village. He had a son, who was foolish and slow, and always a source of worry for him. Even though he was grown, the son couldn’t count or distinguish between rice and barley. His father naturally worried about him. One day, the salt merchant, hearing that his son wanted to become a salt seller, loaded a salt pack onto his son’s back and sent him out to sell salt. The foolish son went to a place where many miners were working and began shouting, “Buy some salt!” But instead of selling any salt, he was met with insults from the miners who were too busy to listen.

Hearing this, the salt merchant told his son that he should have worked alongside the miners, helping them dig, and only sold the salt when they rested. The next day, the son set out again, this time wandering around a wedding celebration. Remembering his father’s advice, he went up to the bride and groom and began digging the ground. The people at the wedding, seeing him acting strangely on such a joyous day, were furious and tried to beat him. The son, startled, ran back home.

When his father heard this, he told him that, instead of going to a wedding, he should have danced and shouted “What a joyous occasion!” while selling salt. The next day, the foolish son set off again, going to where people were gathered. He began dancing and shouting “What a joyous occasion!” as he had been told, but to his surprise, he found himself in the yard of a house that was burning. The people there beat him, and once again, he returned home empty-handed.

The father, hearing about this, told his son that if he ever went to a fire, he should put out the flames with water first and then sell the salt. The next day, the foolish son ran to where two people were fighting, poured water on them, and shouted, “Buy some salt!” The people, enraged, surrounded him and scolded him.

Despite following his father’s advice each time, the son never sold any salt and only received beatings from others. Finally, he gave up on selling salt altogether and blamed his father, who had done nothing wrong.

What do you think of this story? Doesn’t it seem like a foolish son is always a source of worry for his parents? Doesn’t it seem that, even though he followed his father’s words, the foolish son lacked the wisdom to adapt to each situation and think for himself?

In today’s passage, Proverbs 19:13, King Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, says: “A foolish son is the calamity of his father, and a contentious wife is like a constant dripping.” The “foolish son” here refers to someone who does not fear God, does not obey his parents, and constantly engages in evil deeds (Park Yoon-sun). Today, I would like to reflect on the “foolish son” under two main points: first, what kind of person is a foolish son, and second, what should parents do for such a son?

First, what kind of person is a foolish son?

We can think of this in three ways:

(1) The Foolish Son is a Prodigal.

Look at today’s passage, Proverbs 19:10: "It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury—how much less for a slave to rule over princes!" I remember hearing a news story on Korean television about the new president of Korea, Park Geun-hye, and what kind of bag she was carrying. I recall that people were saying the bag she carried was a luxury item, made of ostrich leather, worth about one million won. But later it was revealed that the bag was actually handmade by a small local company. When I heard that news, the first thought that crossed my mind was, "That bag is going to sell like crazy!" The reason is simple—since the president was carrying that bag, many people would probably want to buy it and carry it too. I have this personal feeling that many people seem to want to buy luxury items. In fact, in Korea, the group of people purchasing expensive luxury goods is expanding, and for some popular items, they are often sold out because there is not enough stock (source: internet).

What do you think about “luxury”? I came across an article on a website titled “What makes a woman luxurious?” and decided to read it. Let me ask you a question: it’s said that men don’t like extravagant women, but what do you think the standard of “luxury” is? Which of the five options below do you think is the right answer?

(a) She has two Louis Vuitton bags worth two million won each.
(b) Louis Vuitton is not luxury; only Chanel would count as luxury.
(c) It’s a luxury if you skip lunch and drink Starbucks coffee.
(d) If she spends her own money, it’s okay; but if she spends her parents’ money, it’s extravagant.
(e) Traveling abroad once a year is a luxury.

The correct answer is none of the above. According to the author of the article, the standard for a man to consider a woman luxurious is whether he can afford her current consumption pattern based on his present or future earning potential. I find this an interesting answer. Of course, this is from a man’s perspective, but I think it’s a reasonable definition of luxury. I also found another article on a different website titled "An emotionally extravagant era… thus loneliness and despair deepen," which I read with interest. It was an interview with a literary critic who said, "The frustration of the younger generation is a major issue." This part resonated with me: “We are in an emotionally and sentimentally extravagant era. While we are wealthier, more comfortable, and freer than before, young people feel deeper loneliness, despair, and frustration” (source: internet). What do you think of this statement?

What do you think the Bible's standard for "luxury" is? Let’s look at Isaiah 47:8: "Therefore hear this now, you who are given to pleasures, who dwell securely, who say in your heart, 'I am, and there is no one else besides me; I shall not sit as a widow, nor shall I know the loss of children'." From this verse, we can understand the mindset of those who indulge in luxury. That is, living in a way where, even though their neighbors are in difficulty, they act as if their own lives are untouched by hardship and continue to live however they want, without considering others’ struggles. It refers to people who, though not widowed themselves, ignore the grief of widows, or boast of their children in front of parents who have lost theirs. Living without any concern for others’ hardships and doing whatever one pleases is what the Bible refers to as indulgence. It is not about how much money one spends, but rather about ignoring the struggles of others, which blocks God’s love. That is why the Bible tells us not to live in excess. If we live without considering others, we will not have the desire to share with them, and consequently, we will miss every opportunity to show God’s love to our neighbors. God rebukes luxury because it leads to a life that cannot demonstrate His love (source: internet). In other words, what the Bible describes as luxury is when someone completely disregards the poor, ignores their needs, and uses their possessions solely for themselves, thinking that what they have belongs to them and is theirs to use as they please (internet).

(1) A foolish son is a spendthrift.

In today’s passage, Proverbs 19:10, the writer of Proverbs, King Solomon, says that it is inappropriate for a foolish person to live in luxury. In other words, it is not fitting for a foolish person to enjoy pleasure and rejoice in this world (source: internet). A foolish person not only takes pleasure in wrongdoing (10:23), but also lives joyfully, indulging in the pleasures of the world (19:10). Specifically, in a family context, a foolish son inherits his home and wealth from his parents (verse 14), and lives a reckless life, enjoying worldly pleasures. A good example of this is the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. The younger son asked his father for his share of the inheritance (verse 12), took the wealth, went to a far country, and wasted all his wealth in reckless living (verse 13). Just as the prodigal son squandered his inheritance, a foolish son inherits his parents' wealth and lives lavishly. Proverbs 19:10 tells us that it is inappropriate for a foolish person to live in luxury. So, what is fitting in the eyes of God? When I thought about this question, I remembered Hebrews 2:10: "In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered." What is fitting in the eyes of God is that through suffering, God perfected His only Son, Jesus Christ, in order to bring us to glory. Applying this to our lives, we can say that God considers it fitting to perfect us through suffering. Why is that? Because Jesus, even though He was the Son of God, learned obedience through the things He suffered (Hebrews 5:8). Therefore, as children of God, we too must learn obedience to the Lord through the suffering we endure, just as Jesus did. This is what is fitting in the eyes of God.

(2) A foolish son is a disaster for his father.

Let’s look at Proverbs 19:13: "A foolish son is the calamity of his father, and a contentious wife is like a constant dripping." When translated into Hebrew, this verse reads: "A foolish son is a calamity for his father, and the quarrels of a wife are like a dripping, repeated and constant" (Park Yoon-seon). As we have already reflected in previous passages from Proverbs, the Bible says that a foolish son brings grief to his parents (10:1, 17:21, 25). The Bible also tells us that a foolish son brings pain to his mother (17:25) and that a father with a foolish son has no joy (21:10). Now, in the passage today, Proverbs 19:13, the Bible tells us that a foolish son is a disaster for his father.

So, why is a foolish son a disaster for his father? Dr. Park Yoon-seon explains it in three ways:

(a) A foolish son becomes a disaster for his father because the suffering a parent experiences because of their son cannot be avoided through human effort, and the parent has no choice but to endure it.

Do you not agree? Have you not already experienced how parents cannot avoid the suffering caused by their children? How many parents are suffering because of their children? A foolish child is a pain and a disaster for their parents.

(b) A foolish son becomes a disaster for his father because the father will suffer losses, whether in honor or in material wealth.

We see around us how parents suffer losses in honor or wealth because of foolish children. Though it may sound strange to call it a "loss," how many foolish children bring disgrace to their parents? And just like the prodigal son, how many children waste their parents' wealth on reckless living? A foolish child is nothing but a disaster and a loss for their parents.

(c) A foolish son becomes a disaster for his father because even good people face such painful circumstances.

In other words, no matter how good or faithful the parents are, the cultivation of their children does not always turn out the way they want. You surely know this well. It is truly an incomprehensible phenomenon. If you plant a seed of an apple tree, water it with care, fertilize it, and take care of it, but instead of apples, another kind of fruit grows, what would you think? How many parents put their heart and soul into raising their children, doing their best, only to have rebellious and foolish children come out of such homes? It must be a painful experience.

(1) A Foolish Son is a Disaster to His Father

In today’s passage, Proverbs 19:13, the Bible says that a foolish son is a disaster to his father, and we can see this same pattern in the families described in the Scriptures. For example, in the book of Genesis, we know that Cain, the firstborn son of Adam, killed his brother Abel. Also, as we know, in the family of Jacob, ten of his sons plotted to kill their brother Joseph, but eventually sold him into slavery. Is that all? In the family of David, Amnon raped his sister Tamar, and then Tamar’s brother Absalom killed Amnon. When we look at all of these stories, we can see that a foolish son brings sorrow, sadness, and misfortune to his father. Therefore, just as Proverbs 19:13 says, a foolish son is indeed a disaster to his father.

But through the redemptive death of Jesus Christ on the cross, we—just like you and I—have become sons and daughters who bring joy to our Heavenly Father. Do you understand? In fact, in Zephaniah 3:17, the Bible says: “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty One who will save; He will take great delight in you; in His love, He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” The Bible says that God cannot contain His joy because of us. Do you understand? How have you and I become such a great joy to our Heavenly Father? The reason is that the only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, was crucified and died. Because Jesus took on all our sins, died on the cross, and bore God’s wrath and punishment, you and I became children of God, and God cannot contain His joy because of us.

(2) A Foolish Son Brings Shame and Disgrace to His Parents

Now look at Proverbs 19:26: “He who assaults his father and drives out his mother is a son who brings shame and disgrace.” The Bible says that a foolish son assaults his father, and here the word "assaults" means "to steal" (Swanson). In other words, a foolish son steals from his father. How do you think a foolish son steals from his father? When I think about this question, of course, it comes to mind that the son might steal his father’s property and waste it, but when I think of the words of Malachi 3:8, “Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me. But you say, ‘In what have we robbed You?’ In tithes and offerings,” I wonder if not giving respect and even financial support (like pocket money) to our parents could also be a form of stealing from them. What do you think? Proverbs 28:24 says: “Whoever robs their father or mother and says, ‘It’s not a sin,’ is a partner to the one who destroys.” Stealing from one’s parents is sin. The foolish son commits this sin both against God and his parents.

Furthermore, the foolish son drives out his mother. In other words, the foolish son forces his mother out of the house. Instead of honoring and caring for his mother, the foolish son expels her, causing her great discomfort, even forcing her to leave the house and live in a senior housing facility or some other place. Ultimately, the foolish son does not honor his parents. He does not respect them nor care for them. Instead, he mistreats and expels them, bringing shame and disgrace to his parents.

The Bible also tells us that not only does the foolish son bring shame and disgrace to his parents, but those who bring shame and disgrace are also “idolaters.” Let’s look at Isaiah 45:16-17: “All the makers of idols will be put to shame and disgrace; they will go off into utter shame, and Israel will be saved by the Lord with an everlasting salvation; you will never be put to shame or disgrace, to ages everlasting.” The Bible says that Israel will never be put to shame or disgrace because God will save them with an eternal salvation. And we, who believe in Jesus, are the ones saved by God’s eternal salvation. Therefore, we will never be put to shame or disgrace. The reason is that we are not foolish sons, but children of God. The children of God, because they love Him, honor their parents (Luke 18:20) and act in accordance with His commandments (1 Timothy 5:4).

Lastly, as a third point, what should parents do for their foolish son?

We can think of three things:

(1) Parents should have hope for their foolish son.

Look at the first half of Proverbs 19:18: “Chasten your son while there is hope…” Why should parents have hope for their foolish son? What is the reason? The reason is that we, as parents, believe in God. Because we believe in God, we should have hope for our foolish son. Look at Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

(2) Parents must discipline their foolish son.

Now, let’s look at the second half of Proverbs 19:18: “…but do not set your heart on his destruction.” Not only should we have hope for our foolish son because we believe in God, but also because we love him, we should discipline him. Look at Proverbs 13:24: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” Why should we discipline our foolish son? Look at Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” The reason we must discipline our foolish son is because the rod of correction will drive away his foolishness.

(3) Parents must prevent their foolish son from listening to teachings that lead him away from the words of knowledge.

Now, let’s look at Proverbs 19:27: “My son, do not listen to the instruction that causes you to stray from the words of knowledge.” As parents, because we believe in God, we should have hope for our foolish son, and because we love him, we should discipline him. However, we should not stop at discipline. We must not only discipline our foolish son but also prevent him from listening to teachings that lead him away from the words of knowledge. The best way to do this is to continually teach our children the right way to live. Look at Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” When we teach our children the right path, they will not depart from it, even when they grow old. This is the best way to prevent our children from listening to teachings that lead them away from the knowledge of God.

Closing thoughts on the message.

No parent wants their child to go astray. We all desire for our children to succeed, so we do our best to fulfill our parental responsibilities and raise them well. However, even when we see parents with strong faith, sometimes their children go astray. This shows us that raising children is not entirely in the hands of the parents. Therefore, we must entrust the upbringing of our children to God the Father. At the same time, as parents, we must faithfully carry out our responsibilities and strive to do so. One of those efforts is to pray for our children and ask God for wisdom. In doing so, we must show wisdom to our children rather than our own foolishness. This wisdom is to fear God and obey His commandments.

And the lessons that God gives us in Proverbs 19:10, 13, 14, and 26 are teachings to avoid living a life of luxury and to live a simple life. Additionally, the lesson God gives us is that, even if we have foolish children who bring us shame and disgrace and cause us calamity, we must maintain hope, discipline them in love, and strive to prevent them from listening to teachings that lead them away from the words of knowledge. May we humbly receive these teachings and obey them.